I want to be a billionaire... so fuckin bad... is a good July 2010 song but it wont ever be anything more. It wont be a timeless classic like Stairway to Heaven or Dead Presidents. Unfortunately for Bruno Mars, he wont ever be anything more than a featured hook artist singing on trendy songs. As for Travie McCoy, he wont amount to anything more than a rap/rock combo artist. But I'm honestly not trying to do a music review, thats not what this shit is about-its about well known celebrities: or billionaires.
You know that saying "your first million is the hardest", I hate that quote but believe me they weren't kidding; breaking a million is hard. Breaking a hundred million is pure genius and the billion mark: creativity and originality far beyond the competition. Billionaires come in two types: corporate tycoons that engineer hostile takeovers and stay out of the public eye because they're responsible for putting anti-freeze in baby food and then there are celebrities. Celebrity billionaires tend to either be loved by the public or hated by the people, but yet still heavily sponsored.
So here is a list of 7 Celebrity billionaires thats public life stories has helped me figure out how to live my life. Warning: Not everybody on this list is a billionaire or a hundred millionaire-just work with me, okay.
1. Oprah. Oprah invented the talk show (I think) and she has led the way in ratings taking a huge lead at number 1. I don't think people outside of the Nielsen's ratings know who is coming in at number 2. You want to know why? Because Oprah loves her audience. She gives them interesting topics (if you like her show). But more importantly, she gives the audience gifts for coming to the show.
Life Lesson: Give your supporters gifts to ensure their loyalty
2. Michael Jordan. Jordan became the first billionaire athlete but he was already retired. With all of the signed endorsements and clothing line, the guy made 2.4 billion off Nike alone. When Jordan signed with the Bulls his rookie year, he was given a shoe contract with Nike for 2.5 million. Nike shoe stylists made the Air Jordan 1 a black and red color, making it the first non-white basketball shoe. The NBA banned the shoe and Jordan was fined $5000 a game for wearing them. Jordan was averaging 28.2 PPG while wearing them, which only helped to actually sell the shoe. I have like 8 pairs of Jordans.
Life Lesson: When you're the best, the rules simply don't apply to you
3. Jay-Z. Jay Z is probably a billionaire or something close to it. Before HOV's retirement in 2003, he managed to do 16 albums in 9 years, which was well above the industry's average of one album every 2-3 years. Jay-Z became the biggest rapper in history because his work ethic was well above everyone elses. When he came back in 2006, he has done 5 albums in 5 years: and he's like 40+.. He's like the black Brett Farve.
Life Lesson: Work ethic should be well above everybody elses
4. Bill Gates. Bill Gates invented microsoft and sponsored the first functional computer and has led the way in engineering the newest technology (besides the ipod). Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard to schedule an appointment with Altair because he was that confident his idea would sell. I'm sure by 'dropping out', he missed like 2 days of class and would have gone back if it hadn't panned out. But anyways..
Life Lesson: Lead the learning curve
*The last three billionaires are what I call "bad influences". Warning: don't let your mom know you hang out with these guys*
5. Lebron James. Lebron is considered the best player in the NBA. This offseason, on live TV, he shunned his team, and joined the Miami Heat simply to win championships. A lot of experts now say Lebron's legacy will be convoluted if he wins a title there because of the talent surrounding him.
Life Lesson: Never shit on your home town. Speaking of which, I got you Barre.
Side note to Lebron: its seriously not to late to go to the Knicks. The Heat are going to need a center after Udonis Haslem's arrest.. we'll trade you for Eddy Curry.
6. Tiger "I fucked your favorite pornstar" Woods. I have nothing to say Tiger.
Life Lesson: don't cheat on your wife. Keep up the happy home.
7. Scarface. I really don't know why I have Tony Montana in the negatives list. But I will kill you if you sleep with my sister...Yeah, I'm talking to you Crystle's boyfriend.
HONORABLE MENTION
Shaq: Your career wont last forever. Have a fall back plan and be better at it.
Drake: Sometimes when you chase your dream, you have to take a job you really don't want for a few years just so that you're closer to that specific dream. (I never watched Degrassi)
Justin Bieber: Wait til your voice develops before you speak in public.
Usher: Seriously, don't cheat on your wife.
Thats my list. If you learn any lessons from any other billionaires, please let me know.
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*Does anybody know what time it is?*
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