Last Chance Run

I never thought I would be a sports writer. But honestly, its combining two of my favorite things so why the hell not? The only good thing about fall is the start of basketball and football season.. I'm talking to you SCHOOL.. and so I'm kinda excited about it this year. The football season is almost as unpredictable as the happiness of Brad and Angelina but a lot more interesting, which is why I tend to lead towards liking basketball more. Also, theres a cycle in basketball that you don't see in football. A team sucks so they do well in the draft lottery. Two years with a couple top five picks later, and the team is all of a sudden a contender. I'm talking to you Chicago and Oklahoma City. But with football, you don't really get that. You could be drafting Ryan Leaf or Ronnie Brown as a number one pick or Tom Brady as the 217th pick, you just never know in football.

So my next post might be about the cycle of a team, but for right now just go with me. It's a big year change for basketball: a lot of young teams are coming in and a lot of old teams are losing their stardom. I may talk about the young teams that are on their way up (*cough cough. Knicks. cough cough*) but this specific one is about the teams that are on their way out and need to make this season their best for a last chance title run.

Los Angeles Lakers
Phil Jackson is retiring at the end of this year. He has 11 rings, he's never coming back. He only came back this year because he wants to be the only coach EVER in ANY SPORT to say he has four 3-peats. That's right, FOUR. He's won the championship three times in a row four times. Thats kind of crazy.
Side Note: seriously, why aren't more teams incorporating the triangle offense. Get a Nikon and Bill Belichick that shit.
Kobe Bryant is 32, Pau Gasol is 30, and Derek Fisher is 36; and Derek is also thinking about asking for a trade to go to the Heat. fuckin' trader. I'm not even a Laker fan and I despise that. You've been on the team for your whole career, its not like you've never won one. YOU HAVE FIVE. and you'll probably get the sixth.
But anyway, the Lakers are aging and don't have a successor. Sasha Vuya-whatever is a flop and Lamar Odom fell off just shy of what Eddy Curry did. The Lakers are going to take five-ten years to reinvent their whole roster. But with the team they have now, they have a last chance run.

Boston Celtics
First off, I hate you Boston. I'm a Knick and Yankee fan so I hate everything about Boston. So on the bright side, Ray Allen is 35, KG is 34, Pierce is 33, and Shaq is 65.. but their silver lining is Rondo, Perkins, and Big Baby: who all come in at under 25. Rondo is arguably the number 1 PG in the league, but he can't do it by himself. The problem is Rondo's competitive nature and small stature will always make them a playoff team but as a bottom seed. So they are always going to be .500 and never get good draft picks. Remember the 20-something years when you guys sucked after Ron Mercer? Its coming back after this season.

Phoenix Suns
Amare left. YESSSSS!!! He's a Knick. and Nash is like 36. He plays like he's 26 but that wont last forever. After this season he's going to fall off, especially with NO HELP. I doubt you'll get to the West Finals again so honestly, last year was your last chance. I'm sorry Nash, you can come to the Knicks for a year if you want. We'll trade you for Eddy Curry since you guys need a center.

Dallas Mavericks
Honestly, the number one do or die team. They haven't done it in a while. Dirks like 35, Kidd's like 37, and the bench is all in their 30s. Mark Cuban doesn't have a single player younger than he is. Speaking of Mark, I don't think he's actually aggressively made a huge roster change in years. He's signed players and filled positions like bringing in Shaun Marion (33) but hasn't done anything significant since Kidd. He made a comment about 'wanting' Lebron but didn't actually pursue him. This is the Mav's last run with a owner like Cuban too afraid to pull the big deal trigger.

San Antonio Spurs
Same deal. Seriously, the biggest signing is Antonio Mcdyess and/or Dejaun Blair. Honestly, that's like an old/young version of overrated overweight power forwards. Good work. Duncan is getting up there and he can't compete with the Lebrons, Howards, Gasols (both of them), or anybody else big. Basically, the Spurs have no size. and Tony Parker (Mr. Eva Longoria, you lucky asshole) has lost some of his step, which is too bad. cause he was actually good in a Derrick Rose before Derrick Rose way. five-ten years to reinvent the roster. We'll miss you every-other-year champs.

Honorable Mention


Toronto Raptors: replace Bosh and Hedo and do it quick. Or take ten years, whichever sounds better. You guys had a chance to be solid if you had a point.

Cleveland Cavaliers: you guys definitely have my sympathy because you are the definition of rebuilding.  Just be patient, theres another Lebron working his way through school. I'll be eligible next year.

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*does anybody know what time it is?*