The Inspiration

I have written five very unsuccessful feature length screenplays and twenty-plus short stories that are sub-par. I can honestly say that some of them are so bad that I don't even keep a copy of them. I somehow managed to put most of them on my Writers Resume to make it look like my experience is greater than it already is (so what, everybody lies on resumes). And the funny part is I sent potential employers to this blog for my writing sample. So I don't really care if they know I have failed work. Cause I do.

I've been told 'no thanks' while pushing my work so much I started taking it personally which is the first cardinal sin in writing. As a matter of fact it is now 3:30 in the morning and I have class in the morning. My girlfriend just came out of the bedroom and asked me if I was coming to bed and I told her soon. I can't go to sleep because I'm thinking of how I could make my sixth feature script ground breaking. That's right, I haven't given up hope. Someone once said that prolific writers can write one script every year. Well I did 5 in 20 months and it'll probably be 6 scripts in 2 years (I'm going to hit that mark 4 months and 120 pages from now).

I started wondering what kept me going after rejection after rejection. It's been a hard 3 years of work so why am I so ready to start the 4th and thinking the 5th and 6th will be magical. Well let me tell you what it is: its The Flu Game.

You're probably wondering what the Flu Game is but you should probably already know. If you are a Bulls fan, you should be saying 'oh yeah' right now. If you are a basketball fan in the 90s, you should be saying 'oh yeah' right.............

NOW.


If you still don't get it, I'll explain it to you:

It was the 1997 NBA Finals ('oh yeah' yet?)  and the series was tied 2-2. As every sports fan knows, in the playoffs they do best of seven series so it was the first to four wins. When a team is actually in the series, the strong belief is that 2 wins is great but 3 is even better. So of course both the Chicago Bulls and Utah Jazz were looking for that crucial advantage of 3 games. The first 2 games of the series were played in Chicago and won by them. The next 2 were played in Utah and also won by them bringing us to an even 2 tilt. The 5th game of the series would be played in Utah giving them the advantage; but the ultimate advantage would go to Chicago who got Game 6 and 7 on their home floor. Both the Bulls and Jazz had unbeaten records at home so the Jazz knew if they wanted to win they would have to seal one more at home and pull off an incredible upset in Chicago to win it all.

Michael Jordan wasn't having it.

It was a tuesday and Jordan woke up nauseated and barely able to sit up in bed. The team doctors declared that he had a stomach virus and it would be virtually impossible for him to play in game 5. The news that Jordan wasn't playing Game 5 made the Utah win seem even more plausible. The game was at 6pm and Jordan got out of bed for the first time at 4pm and made his way to the stadium.

He could barely stand during pregame and 'looked pale' before tipoff (he's black, so whats pale? Dark gray). It was said that Jordan lacked his explosive speed and strength that made him the best player in the NBA but he still played tough. During the game, he was hitting shots dunking the ball, and still being the best player on the court. During half-time and time-outs, he looked like he might pass out. Jordan scored 15 points in the fourth quarter and 38 for the entire game. The next highest score was opponent Karl Malone who had 19 points. The Bulls went on to win the game. It was the first time the Jazz had been beaten at home. The Bulls would turn around and win Game 6 at home to clinch their 5th National Championship of the decade.

Every time I start feeling like I can't do something, I think of this. People with masters and doctorate degrees and specialized in medial practices told Jordan that he couldn't play. His body told him that he could barely stand. So what did he do? He went out and proved the whole world wrong. And then he passed out. If I had double his strength and half his determination, what could I accomplish?

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*does anybody know what time it is?*

Oh Em Gee. Do you know who we are?

So I was reading one of my classmates blogs and this kid really got me thinking.. Let me first start off saying that, although this kid will remain anonymous here (as in I wont say his name), I really like him (no homo). He's a good kid and a good writer; BUT I don't agree with him. In his blog post, he talked about how we as humans degenerated and we are now the worst generation and our music and movies prove it. I disagree.

I think we are the best generation. I think we show ingenuity. People say, 'look what used to be on TV. You can't beat Cheers or Beverly Hillbillies'. But I think we do. I think we put stuff on TV that doesn't compete and it gets off the air but we also put the best shows on TV too. Its called testing the market. That would be like Johnny Unitas saying, "your generation has Jamarcus Russel. Mankind is really going downhill". Well Johnny, we also got Peyton Manning; but you don't seem to notice that cause you're kind of a pessimist (no offense to Johnny Unitas).

I think movies like Inception could be considered the best of all time because of the sheer layers in the story. But instead we look at the time period when we name the best. I don't understand how Breathless by Jean-Luc Godard is considered as best as it can get because some arrogant guy cut up his own film with a pair of scissors.

I think we teach evolution and expect us to consider that the human race is getting better and say that we are now managing incredible technological advances and then say that our mind is degenerating. Our films are improving because we are learning from history.

I don't know what to tell you about music. But I think it kind of is just staying steady. I mean "do a little dance. make a little love. get down tonight" can't possibly be better OR worse than "you're a jerk. I know".

In the 60s they looked down on the hippies; in the 70s it was the disco. In the 80s it was the rock phase thing. In the 90s it was the millennium obsession. In the 2000s, its the cell phone craze. I think we have to accept the fact that people from the past generation will never understand the up-and-coming generation.

With that being said, you should probably know that 80s babies are still the best.

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*does anybody know what time it is?*

Girlfriend vs The Girl-friend

"The only thing to fear is fear itself"-Franklin D. Roosevelt

Have you ever wanted to say something awesomely creative that would stick with people and make them think youre a genuis? Yeah, me too. I've been working on something along the lines of if theres a space between girl and friend, keep your space-something like that. It's kinda lame but you know, whatever; its a work in progress. Speaking of which, I'm kind of a veteran on what the hyphen means between girl and friend. I've had plenty of girl-friends and plenty of girlfriends. I've also lived with both kinds.

The girl-friend is someone you are close to but have never put your you know what in her holiest of holies. I lived with my girl-friend last year and let me tell you, I learned alot. Before we moved in, we would talk about our girlfriends and boyfriends, respectively, and problems we were having. At the time, she hated my girlfriend and I hated her douchebag boyfriend. She would constantly ask me when I was breaking up with my girlfriend cause she was wrong for me. I would lie to her and be like, 'soon. real soon'. But her boyfriend told her he didn't want her hanging out with me. All because I told her mom that I wasn't her boyfriend and it was 'that guy' *in a pointing gesture). This douche bag was such a loser. I hated that guy. But I digress.. my girl-friend was believed by many to be my girlfriend cause we spent so much time together but that wasn't true. The hyphen gave me a free pass to ask as much about women as I wanted without a disapproving look.

The point of a girl-friend is to learn as much as you can about women. Trust me on that one. Dudes would insult me like, 'are u hittin that?' and I would be lik 'no, shes just a friend'. Most people didn't understand, I guess. But by not sleeping with her, ever, I could ask her questions about what she liked and it wasn't awkward cause of our non-history. It was great. The only problem with a girl-friend though is the girlfriend, no hyphen.

The girlfriend is pretty self explanatory. People have been having girlfriends since before marriage was instituted. But the girlfriend hates the girl-friend because of the undisclosed closeness the girlfriend will never receive. I have a girlfriend now that I live with but I don't think I could ever ask her some of the questions I asked my girl-friend last year. Not like my girlfriend isn't awesome, but since we are sleeping together on a pretty much nightly basis I can't ask her certain stuff. Does that sound weird? Saying it out loud makes it sound weird.

Most men treat women like sport, so let me explain it like this: the girl-friend is training camp. Her sole purpose is to see your strengths and weaknesses. You can test your young rookies and bench players or test the soreness on your veterans. Its a great learning experience that will help you in the regular season. The girlfriend is the regular season. The one you try hard with. If you have a great start, youre going to go deep into the playoffs but if you have a rocky start, youre going to be a bubble team. Bubble teams are struggling teams that at the end of the season have to put it all on the line just to reach the playoffs. Some teams make it, most teams don't. An example of bubble teams are last years Toronto Raptors and Chicago Bulls. Both teams had tying records with 4 games left in the season, including one against each other. The Bulls went 3-1 and the Raptors went 1-3.  Guess who won the last playoff spot?

The playoffs are engagement. You worked hard all season to get here and its win or go home. You're not in the clear yet and it only gets tougher from here on in...

This analogy is going way too long, but you get the point, right? The girl-friend is preseason and the girlfriend is the regular season. Guess which one matters more? That's right, neither one of them do. Without the preseason you would never have a good regular season because you never learned your strengths and weaknesses in training camp. Without the regular season, the preseason is just a waste of time.

So you need both in your life. One comes before the other but they both help each other. And a special shout out to my best friend who now lives in Italy and my girlfriend who now lives with me. I love both of you.
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*Does anybody know what time it is?*

Life Lessons and Shit I've Learned From Billionaires.

I want to be a billionaire... so fuckin bad... is a good July 2010 song but it wont ever be anything more. It wont be a timeless classic like Stairway to Heaven or Dead Presidents. Unfortunately for Bruno Mars, he wont ever be anything more than a featured hook artist singing on trendy songs. As for Travie McCoy, he wont amount to anything more than a rap/rock combo artist. But I'm honestly not trying to do a music review, thats not what this shit is about-its about well known celebrities: or billionaires.

You know that saying "your first million is the hardest", I hate that quote but believe me they weren't kidding; breaking a million is hard. Breaking a hundred million is pure genius and the billion mark: creativity and originality far beyond the competition. Billionaires come in two types: corporate tycoons that engineer hostile takeovers and stay out of the public eye because they're responsible for putting anti-freeze in baby food and then there are celebrities. Celebrity billionaires tend to either be loved by the public or hated by the people, but yet still heavily sponsored.

So here is a list of 7 Celebrity billionaires thats public life stories has helped me figure out how to live my life. Warning: Not everybody on this list is a billionaire or a hundred millionaire-just work with me, okay.

1. Oprah. Oprah invented the talk show (I think) and she has led the way in ratings taking a huge lead at number 1. I don't think people outside of the Nielsen's ratings know who is coming in at number 2. You want to know why? Because Oprah loves her audience. She gives them interesting topics (if you like her show). But more importantly, she gives the audience gifts for coming to the show.

Life Lesson: Give your supporters gifts to ensure their loyalty


2. Michael Jordan. Jordan became the first billionaire athlete but he was already retired. With all of the signed endorsements and clothing line, the guy made 2.4 billion off Nike alone. When Jordan signed with the Bulls his rookie year, he was given a shoe contract with Nike for 2.5 million. Nike shoe stylists made the Air Jordan 1 a black and red color, making it the first non-white basketball shoe. The NBA banned the shoe and Jordan was fined $5000 a game for wearing them. Jordan was averaging 28.2 PPG while wearing them, which only helped to actually sell the shoe. I have like 8 pairs of Jordans.

Life Lesson: When you're the best, the rules simply don't apply to you


3. Jay-Z. Jay Z is probably a billionaire or something close to it. Before HOV's retirement in 2003, he managed to do 16 albums in 9 years, which was well above the industry's average of one album every 2-3 years. Jay-Z became the biggest rapper in history because his work ethic was well above everyone elses. When he came back in 2006, he has done 5 albums in 5 years: and he's like 40+.. He's like the black Brett Farve.

Life Lesson: Work ethic should be well above everybody elses


4. Bill Gates. Bill Gates invented microsoft and sponsored the first functional computer and has led the way in engineering the newest technology (besides the ipod). Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard to schedule an appointment with Altair because he was that confident his idea would sell. I'm sure by 'dropping out', he missed like 2 days of class and would have gone back if it hadn't panned out. But anyways..

Life Lesson: Lead the learning curve


*The last three billionaires are what I call "bad influences". Warning: don't let your mom know you hang out with these guys*

5. Lebron James. Lebron is considered the best player in the NBA. This offseason, on live TV, he shunned his team, and joined the Miami Heat simply to win championships. A lot of experts now say Lebron's legacy will be convoluted if he wins a title there because of the talent surrounding him.

Life Lesson: Never shit on your home town.  Speaking of which, I got you Barre. 


Side note to Lebron: its seriously not to late to go to the Knicks. The Heat are going to need a center after Udonis Haslem's arrest.. we'll trade you for Eddy Curry.

6. Tiger "I fucked your favorite pornstar" Woods. I have nothing to say Tiger.

Life Lesson: don't cheat on your wife. Keep up the happy home.


7. Scarface. I really don't know why I have Tony Montana in the negatives list. But I will kill you if you sleep with my sister...Yeah, I'm talking to you Crystle's boyfriend.

HONORABLE MENTION


Shaq: Your career wont last forever. Have a fall back plan and be better at it.

Drake: Sometimes when you chase your dream, you have to take a job you really don't want for a few years just so that you're closer to that specific dream. (I never watched Degrassi)

Justin Bieber: Wait til your voice develops before you speak in public.

Usher: Seriously, don't cheat on your wife.

Thats my list. If you learn any lessons from any other billionaires, please let me know.
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*Does anybody know what time it is?*